To get her attention it would be best to send tribute upon initial contact.

This implies your desires to be taken seriously. It also sets you apart from attention seekers or what some might consider timewasters.

 

Introduce yourself and include:

Your identified role in D/s and type if applicable the specific type ie; Submissive, Sissy sub or Submissive Service sub

If you are not a sub then you may indicate if you are a bottom, kinkster or fetishist

If you are a domme that is still okay as long as you keep in mind that you’ll be expected to let go of that role and expectations that are associated with it during a play scene.

 

Most often you’ll then be asked or may include in your intro: the specific kinks/fetishes you have with respect to the services offered by that domme.

This shows you’ve done some looking into the kinds of things she’s into and that you want a scene you’d both enjoy.

 

At that point, you’ll either be asked or can volunteer your hard limitations with respect to those kinks.

This shows that you are aware of your boundaries and that you have some knowledge of the aspects of kink that you are interested in.

If you do not know what they might be you can say so and include your level of familiarity with these interests.

For some types of play like impact/sensory play, humiliation play and kinks that could be considered within the category of edge play.

 

Edge play would be considered to be any kinks that are outside of the usual and would have a certain level of increased risk physically or psychologically or both. A couple examples of this would be race play and breath play.

 

You’ll also be expected to share your preferred safety protocol such as SSC (safe sane & consensual), RACK (risk aware consensual kink)or PRICK for example.(personally responsible informed consensual kink) 

 

This shows you’d be a reliable person to play with and that you value your experience enough to have taken the time to look into the kind of safety protocol that would suit your needs for whatever kind of play you would like to engage in.

 

If you aren’t sure, you could ask what she would typically use and that would still be acceptable.

 

One of the last things to consider is if you are looking for an ongoing D/s power exchange or if you would like to keep this within the confines of your scenes. 

 

This would determine the kind of experience and connection you’d have with her in and outside of play. This is important because some may desire a more immersive D/s  relationship and some may prefer a more compartmentalized one. 

 

What’s the difference?

 

In an ongoing D/s power exchange you and your femdom would converse in a similar style as you would in a D/s scene although to a lesser extent in some cases and, you’d be privy to seeing an expression of her that would feel closer to a lifestyle kind of play that extends beyond kink and fetish play within play scenes. The positives would also include being driven further and deeper into subspace allowing you to confidently relinquish yourself over to your femdom in and outside of structured play. It also makes your experience and interactions much more personable as this continues.

 

In a more compartmentalized interaction you can have your time designated for a structured play scene and when it’s over you’ll have a more neutral interaction allowing you to come out of subspace and get a glimpse of your domme’s personality outside of typical D/s styles that you especially enjoy during play.

This would build confidence between you and her by having a more definitive time to indicate when you’d be expected to fall into your submissive role (if applicable) knowing what to do and say at those moments which would please your femdom. In addition,  you’ll have a reference point to start from whenever expecting the appropriate responses and leadership within set times confined by your play scene.

Outside of your play, you may feel that your interactions give you a chance to see her as a real person as opposed to your dominant. You’d have space to get to know her style of communication and treatment of you outside of your submissive role as well which would reaffirm that she also views you as a real person with interests in stuff that might be more closely associated with non-kink/fetish related interests and your general civilian or vanilla style personality.

Knowing and in some cases learning of these things before playing and upon contacting her will save time and effort when trying to determine which femdom would be best suited for your style and tastes and in addition, also show her that you value her time as well as expertise.